this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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