i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
