It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
