plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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