remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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