hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
