So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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