Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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