that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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