She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
