Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
