I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
