whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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