A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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