Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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