Non-Jews are for practice
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
