As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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