Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
