Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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