I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
