I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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