flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
