Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
