So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Randomize
