I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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