I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
