my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
