You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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