My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
