I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
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I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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