so explain again why im purple
no
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
