Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i think im in europe. pls send help
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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