wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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