do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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