Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just made out with a guy for $7.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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