Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
