Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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