yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
