No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
