I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
