I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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