There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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