Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
They have beer where we have blood.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
