it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
