literally had 100 drinks last night.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
