its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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