she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
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I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
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I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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