Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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