that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
