I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
