I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
