it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
