I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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