My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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