We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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