Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
