If i come over, it means nothing
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
