just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Can I color on your dick again?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
