You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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