I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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