i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
