I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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