White coat. Heels.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
