I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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