thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
