there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
