just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
