Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.