In the future we'll all be gay
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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