Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
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