Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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